Reflections on Community Resilience

Some life musings on community resilience.

I’ve observed we, as a humanity, have the ability to gather in times of crisis, challenges and while navigating tough times. We have built a lot of resilience this way. Basically, we know how to get through hard times, even if in time it can wear certain people down.

I’ve been wondering about the ability to gather as a family, group, community for the sake of joy. Of having fun. Enjoying ourselves. For the most part this is usually done with the ‘help’ of alcohol and maybe even music. In some cases with drugs.

I’m learning that resilience isn’t just built by getting through hard moments, resilience is also built through learning how to be alive; with getting to experience the pleasures of life, the peacefulness of it, the vitality that is accessible to all of us.

Having lived in this current community for 10 months now, I’ve come to realise a couple of things:

1. Most of us aren’t taught the skills to navigate conflict in a way that returns us to a place of harmony and connection

2. We mostly tend to gather either out of obligation, old traditions or a need for socialising (yet can struggle with connecting with people meaningfully)

I feel a sense of yearning for spaces where people enter with the intention of connecting in meaningful ways. Where people are aware of differences and possible triggers of disconnection, yet set the intention of practicing being present and aware through the process. Where intentional pauses are a part of a conversation. Where both sides ask each other questions about each other’s experiences. Where asking “how are you?” isn’t just used as a greeting, but is asked out of genuinely wanting to know how someone is feeling in that moment.

There’s an invitation within all this, to create these spaces. To be the one to hold space for others in exploring deep and meaningful connections with people in our lives. I feel a resistance to this, feeling both a longing to be held, and feeling a fear that I’m still learning to expand my own capacities for space holding. I arrive at a stalemate quite often… Feeling the yearning to be held, while also feeling uncertain about being a space holder, or at the very least organising such a gathering.

The yearning is amplified with the knowledge that these are skills to be learnt, if change is something we wish to see. Skills that can be learnt. It just takes a courageous someone to get the ball rolling. I’m unsure if that someone is me.

What is the purpose of this blog post…

Both an expression of my current inner conflict on the matter, and perhaps as a mirror for anyone else who may be experiencing something similar. That you’ve a kindred spirit in me in this yearning and feelings of a troubled heart - for what that’s worth.

And to contribute to the inquiry of what creates sustainable and resilient communities; what creates strong and resilient individuals.

This also translates into romantic relationships. I’ve reflected a lot on my previous relationship and how at times we struggled to tend to playfulness. And how this could have supported us in times of hardships and conflict. I’ve learnt that playfulness and joy can help us rewire how we view and experience life challenges, for it invites a sense of hope, light-heartedness and optimism in times that can otherwise feel heavy and dark.

A part of my practice these days is exploring play, and the art of having fun. Whether it be on my own, or with friends. I may choose to put on some music and dance around the house, or organise a games night with friends, or skipping rather than just walking to my car, or even in being okay with acting silly when interacting with a friend.

Amazingly enough, it feels hard sometimes… The seriousness of life is deeply embedded in me, and I can walk around often carrying a heavy, pained and troubled heart. I guess that’s why it’s called a ‘practice’, because it’s not about getting it right, but more about continuing to return to the intention over and over again. Even when it feels hard.

And so my questions for you, dear reader:

1. How do you tend to playfulness in your life?

2. Do you prioritise gathering with friends and family for the sake of having fun?

3. Are you aware of the kind of connections you wish to have with people in your life?

4. How else can we tend to resilience beyond knowing how to navigate hardships?