A Paradoxical Experience of Digital Tech

A brief post on my experience with being part of the RISE online women's circle gathering.

There are mixed feelings about joining RISE, an online women's circle gathering facilitated by Alexandra.

There's the joy and excitement and appreciation for the space and the women and their stories, offerings and support. There's also a sense of grief as I wonder what the experience could be like if it were in person; if these women live nearby and become part of my support and community circle outside of the 2hr Zoom calls. If I can give them a hug or offer a supportive touch on the shoulder when one of them shares a hardship.

My relationship to digital technology came up in today's circle. I shared my process with exploring living less on and through screens, and more through my body and physical experiences (as in feeling with my skin, touching with my hands, smelling with my nose etc).

Even as I type this blog post, the questions swirl around in my mind. Questions like:

What is the point of writing this?

Why do I get so lost when I use the internet and waste hours of my life away?

Why is it so difficult to set boundaries when I use my phone or computer?

I read The Way Home by Mark Boyle a couple of years ago and once again return to his writing. I return to the questions he asked in his own exploration with his relationship to technology. I remember passages that inspire me to continue deepening my own reflections and experiments in regards to living a much simpler life.

As of right now, I'm experimenting with not using, posting and interacting on Instagram. Yes, I created another Instagram account. For those who don't know, I've done a couple of year's worth of experimenting not using social media for a year. Counting YouTube (YouTube, for some reason isn't counted as social media for some people...). I may share more about these experiments another time.

As I mentioned in 'Where Does Our Attention Go?' blog post, I was focusing some of my energy into creating an online holistic women's health coaching business, and is the main reason why I created a new Instagram account. I had all these clear intentions of what I'd be using it for, how I wanted to interact with the platform, and when and how I'll be posting.

All of it went down the drain the more I used the app. I found myself wanting to scroll; with being on there longer than intended; of going down the rabbit hole of the "Explore" page. I felt it affecting how I connected with people. With how I felt about myself and my life. It got in the way of actually getting the business up and running.

I realised: I'm not sure I want to have an online business...

Which brings me back to feeling confused and anxious.

Most people use social media these days for... well, almost everything:

Socialising.

Creating.

Gathering information.

Entertainment.

Advertising/Marketing.

Earning an income.

Even shopping.

I don't know how to run a holistic health coaching business offline that doesn't require me to rent out a space and be in one location the whole time (currently not an available option for me). I don't know how to network and meet people and offer my services without the help of social media or the internet. I don't know how to access information I need without using my phone or laptop...

And yet, I'm clarifying more and more that I don't want to spend a lot of time of digital technology. On social media. On screens.

So. I'm in a kind of predicament... I've no clear answers or a resolved story here. I'm just sharing my process of exploring different paths when it comes to living life in a modern and technologised world.

What is your process with using digital technology?

What is your experience with using screens, wifi, the internet, social media, emails, using the "Cloud" to store digital documents, Spotify, online banking, doing meetings and events through video like Zoom or Google Hangout and so on?

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Mentioned Resources:

RISE online gathering by Alexandra (women's circle)

The Way Home by Mark Boyle (book)

Where Does Our Attention Go? (Sprouting Roots blog post)